WHAT NOT TO SAY TO A PREGNANT LADY

29 July 2016


Pregnant ladies get a bad rep for being irrational, moody, grumpy, scary, etc.

We all know that this is due to hormones. It really is! Science can prove it.

Think of us as your female friend/family member/wife/gf who is having the usual monthly PMS, only it lasts 9 months (obviously) and more, think Baby Blues especially on day 3 after birth. Yes that one.

As a woman, I admit, that we (women) know that we are hormonal, whether it's a period or pregnancy, and still we can't control these emotions.

A few of us would smile and walk away and then vent to someone or to social media, while others will just instantly bite punch your head off for something you may have said.

So my friends, consider this as a public service announcement from me to you, I want to impart this wonderful list of what you may want to avoid saying to a Pregnant lady (or someone PMSing. Trust me, there is a fine line between each stage or no line at all). You can thank me later.
1. "Oh-Em-Gee, look at you, you are so ______"

Huge, humongous, massive, large, colossal, mammoth, vast, giant or any synonyms to the word BIG.

I don't think any pregnant lady would appreciate it. There are a lot of things going through a woman's body when growing a human in her belly and negative body image is one aspect of pregnancy that no one realises until  they are actually pregnant. Negative comments about a woman's size is not going to be helpful especially if mumma-to-be is having a hard time coming to terms with all the changes she's going through.

Why not try: Oh-em-Gee, look at you, you are a glowing and beautiful mumma-to-be.

2. "Oh-Em-Gee, look at you, are you sure you're pregnant?"

This is for our sisters who don't show their lovely bumps until much later in the pregnancy. You may think, well she should be happy she's tiny, but in reality she is dying to have that bump showing so she can dress it, flaunt it and share the news without having to give the big spiel as why she's not showing her bump yet.

Why not try, Oh-Em-gee, look at you, you are a glowing and beautiful mumma-to-be.

3. "Are you sure there's only ____ in there?"

Singleton or multiple, there's no need to actually doubt the mummy-to-be if she's really aware of the number of baby (or babies) in her belly.
It may be a joke, and again due to the amount of hormones, this kind of joke is not easily accepted.

Why not try, Oh-Em-gee, look at you, you are a glowing and beautiful mumma-to-be.

4. "You look really tired"

Exhausted is another term used. Yaaaassss we are tired but we don't really need to hear it out loud because we feel it and we feel it big time.

Why not try, Oh-Em-gee, look at you, you are a glowing and beautiful mumma-to-be.

5. "This baby is really sucking your beauty eh?"

Again, it's not really nice to be told you're ugly, no matter how subtle you choose to be.

Why not try, Oh-Em-gee, look at you, you are a glowing and beautiful mumma-to-be.

6. "Don't eat that ___________, you will make yourself fatter"

This is a double-edge sword. First, you tell a pregnant lady not to eat something like a doughnut and then imply that she's already fat. See number 1.

While choosing the right food is essential when pregnant, sometimes, cravings are far more delicious and better for the soul. When a craving is satisfied, the mumma-to-be is at her happiest.

Why not try, Oh-Em-gee, look at you, you are a glowing and beautiful mumma-to-be! That doughnut looks so yummy.

7. "Not long now!"

Unless you know her due date and you've braided each other's hair while watching The Bachelor, you shouldn't assume that the big day is just around the corner. The mumma-to-be may very well be just on her first trimester with a singleton, you don't know.

People's body shape affect how the bump is carried. For me, I have a short torso, meaning my waist line is most likely just under my boobs if I walk like the Hunchback of Notre dame. There's no other way my bump is going but high and all out. Just saying.

Why not try, Oh-Em-gee, look at you, you are a glowing and beautiful mumma-to-be, when are you due?

8. "My so-so friend/daughter/sister/neighbour/wife/gf /cousin/BlakeLively is also pregnant and she is _______ than you"

My dear friend, STOP right there! Think before you finish your sentence. If you're about to compare your pregnant friend/daughter/sister/neighbour/wife/gf/cousin or Blake Lively to another pregnant lady, please stop.

Pregnancy is different for everyone. One may have all the glow from the pregnancy unicorn while the other grows a beautiful moustache and can't keep her food down at 24weeks. It's different for every woman.

Why not try, Oh-Em-gee, look at you!, my friend* is also pregnant and you two are both glowing and beautiful mummas-to-be!

9. "You don't really need an epidural"

Unless you can predict the future and quite accurate about it, please don't tell a pregnant woman that she doesn't need an epidural. Ones choice of pain killer during labour is her choice. If she wanted an epidural the minute she gets in the hospital, it's her right to do so.

Also, if you're a man, don't have a uterus and never been on labour, then my dear friend, we don't need to hear your second-hand experience about not needing an epidural. Please don't tell your pregnant partner that your butcher's wife didn't get an epidural and was fine, therefore, she doesn't need an epidural. Please don't. If you do tell your pregnant partner though, I will personally suggest that she holds your penis when contractions kicks in instead of your hand the whole entire time of labour and delivery.

Why not try, Oh-Em-gee, look at you, you are a glowing and beautiful mumma-to-be, I'll support whatever you decide to do.

10. "Finally! It took you so long to get pregnant this time"

This warrants a punch on your face, if I am being honest. For some women, falling pregnant is not as easy as doing the deed one time. Staying pregnant is another thing.

Sometimes saying Congratulations is enough, more than enough. So stick to that. Plain and simple.

Why not try, Oh-Em-gee, look at you, you are a glowing and beautiful mumma-to-be! Congratulations!

----

In most cases, emotions are a high for a pregnant lady all the time. You may feel that there is no win-win situation because we will find something to feel bad about something you said and the way you said it because we are hormonal. It's true. So we need your kindness and patience. We may become paranoid on small things like cream cheese or irrational when you ate the last piece of Timtam.

We apologise for all the hormonal outbursts but we also ask you to be kind and don't be a dick.

Thank you to my beautiful online mother's group for inspiring me to write this post. LOL.

xo
MsChikee




4 comments :

  1. This post is a great public service announcement! I've never been pregnant but have been "congratulated" more than once on my "pregnancy"(I wasn't pregnant) and even had my old yoga instructor, in front of the class, asked me to consider not doing certain exercises in the class because of the "baby" (safe to say I didn't come back).

    ReplyDelete
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    1. oh, i would high-five that yoga instructor in the face with a chair! hahahah
      sometimes people don't think before speaking and even if they mean well, it still comes across annoying!

      Delete
  2. Haha, this is great, I'm not pregnant, nor have I ever been, but I think most people would get a punch in the face if they said anything similar to these to me!

    Kez | acaciasdreams.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. definitely, make it a high-five in the face with a chair... that's more appropriate!

      Delete

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